Have you ever noticed how computers in movies differ from real ones? Here goes:

* Word processors never display a cursor.

* You never have to use the spacebar when typing long sentences.

* All monitors display 2 inch high letters.

* High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental institution, have easy-to-understand graphical interfaces.

* Those that don't will have incredibly powerful text-based command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English.

* Corollary: You can gain access to any information you want by simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.

* Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS."

* Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so that it doesn't go faster than you can read. The really